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Revel with reasons

Posted by Sathyamurthy www.sathyamurthy.com on December 25, 2005

Let the revelry go on, with no excuses but only reasons

Today is Merry Christmas and in a few days time you have the New year 2006. Lots of party, wining and dining. Many of you make a new year resolution also. If someone makes a list of the most popular new year resolutions the following two are definite to figure in that list most likely at the very top:

1. Resolution to stop smoking
2. Resolution to stop drinking

Most of the time these resolutions are also broken within three months of making those. Because most of us as die-hard optimists know very well that we will be there when another new years turns in and hence make a brand new resolution.

However, there is an amount of guilt that surrounds us when we first break a resolution. I thought I can reduce atleast a part of the guilt from you. Here are some actual statements of people on why one should drink. Read them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” ~ Jack Handy

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. ” ~Frank Sinatra

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” ~ Henny Youngman

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” ~ Stephen Wright

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!” ~ Brian O’Rourke

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” ~ Dave Barry

To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here’s how it went:

“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you found some convincing arguments here. Its better if you have them memorized. Come back and memorize. But one condition, you should start that exercise only after you have downed a few cans of beer or a few pints of the harder variety, preferably on the rocks!

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One Response to “Revel with reasons”

  1. Sarathguru Vijayananda said

    Sam,

    I should tell you that you have just wrote the pulse of an Human especially Male community.

    I would be happy if you could write about the resolutions that a female take and whether at least they follow.

    I am sure they would when compare to a male.

    I too had few resolutions taken and see those goes by as the time progresses after every January 1. I hope I will not repeat the same this year.

    Have few resolutions to be taken. But tell me why we fix January 1 as the day. Cannot it be anyday in the year. That way we relax ourselves.

    For example, a drunkard can stop drinking immediately he realises it. Why to wait till the D day and do it. If a man can stop on January 1 why cannot he on Nov 12 or May 16.

    Do let me know your views.

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