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Boss has no Socceritis

Posted by Sathyamurthy www.sathyamurthy.com on June 17, 2006

I am a cricket fan out and out and like many Indians out there watch Tennis with good interest too.

I promise you I have been having interest in Tennis watching even before Sania Mirza burst into the scene with her tight t’shirts and thigh gripping shorts.

Then I watch billiards and snooker (don’t know the difference between the two, however).

When I wanted to go little ungentlemanly I used to watch (like many of my countrymen) Hockey, especially when India played Pakistan.

In a nut(?)shell I have interest in the indoor and outdoor games that had smaller balls in play.

As far bigger balls that were kicked around, I do not have much interest, though it is a rage world over especially when there is this once in four years event called World Cup. Quite a lot of people around the world, cutting across time lines, stay awake to watch Soccer irrespective of whether their country was in contention or not. They simply pick one team to support and tango on.

It is also a fact that people bunk offices to be able to watch the game.

These are the times when humorists on the net come up with interesting mail forwards (who is the author?). One such forward was sent to me on email (!) by my room-mate who sits in front of the computer 28 hours a day plus the six or seven hours he sleeps in front of it.

I found the forward interesting enough to be shared with you folks.

Memo to staff: Get some work done By Melvin Durai

From: Company president
To: All staff

Subject: Low productivity

It has come to my attention that productivity has dropped drastically since Friday, June 9th. I’m not sure what’s going on, but please be assured that I’m monitoring the situation closely and will suspend or terminate employees who aren’t pulling their own weight. For the company to be successful, it’s important for all of us to work hard. We need to learn from the examples set by the following managers, whom I’m pleased to recognize.

John Tembo, Human Resources Manager: I was walking past John’s office and heard him and several employees shouting “Goal! Goal! Goal!” When I knocked on the door, John told me they were watching a training video to help them achieve company goals. I have nominated each of them for our Employee of the Month Award. It’s important for all of us to focus on goals. As John said, “Without goals, our team will lose.”

Carlos Mendez, Sales and Distribution Manager: Carlos called me on Friday morning to say he was ill and couldn’t come to work. His doctor had diagnosed him with a rare illness called socceritis. The illness affects patients for at least a month and there’s a chance of relapse every four years. As you can imagine, I was rather shocked and saddened. I wondered how we could manage without Carlos for so long. Perhaps Carlos read my mind, for he immediately put me at ease. “I’ll come to work, boss,” he said. “The illness isn’t contagious. I just need to return home to get 90 minutes of rest a few times a day.” What an example Carlos is setting for all of us. I am nominating him for our Courage and Inspiration Award.

Ravi Narayanan, Product Design Manager: As of Friday, Ravi is testing an innovative program he developed called WHFH (Work Hard From Home). He believes it will not only increase productivity in his department but also lower costs considerably, particularly the cost of buying coffee and doughnuts. Ravi came to work briefly on Tuesday and I overheard him saying to another manager, “South Korea 2, Togo 1.” I asked him about it and he said, “That’s the number of customers we have in each country.” I was extremely pleased. I didn’t realize we had a customer in Togo. I am nominating Ravi for our Innovative Spirit Award.

Hans Mueller, Advertising Manager: Hans, as you know, is always looking for new ways to advertise, new ways to reach potential customers. Since Friday, he has been personally manning an information booth at the ESPN Sports Bar. I paid a surprise visit to the bar and heard Hans talking to an employee about something called “World Cup.” He told me it’s an acronym he’s using to motivate employees: WORLDCUP (Working Overtime Results in Less Disappointment and Creates an Upsurge in Productivity.) I am nominating Hans for the High Motivation Award.

Ming Yu, Technology Manager: I found Ming coming out of a bathroom stall with a small battery-operated TV. He said he’s testing a video conferencing system that will enable employees to continue to work while doing their business. A few minutes later, I heard Ming telling his assistant how many customers we have in certain countries. I was proud to hear all the numbers, but disappointed to realize we have no customers in America. That’s a huge market that we’re missing out on. In any case, I am nominating Ming for the Bathroom Productivity Award.
(Football world cup 2006 FIFA Argentina Brazil England Costa Rica Germany France Italy Ronaldino Ronaldo Maradona Soccer Pele Beckham penalty kick corner hand of god goal)

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